Haircuts

When T1 was around 22 months old we took him for his first haircut.  It was a busy hairdressers and there was a queue.  He was restless waiting so by the time it was his turn he was quite agitated.  He started to cry and scream and we had waited so long that I instructed the male barber to just get on with it.  This meant  we had to practically hold T1 down whilst the barber sheared his hair off as quickly as possible.  This was the worst thing we could have done.  I wouldn't recommend forcing your child to have anything done if they are distressed.  Haircuts thereafter were a nightmare.  At this point we were unaware of T1 having ASD but thought that his reaction might be different to other children his age. He now seemed to have a phobia of haircuts and to add to this, he had sensory discomfort when his head was touched, especially lightly.  It seemed an impossible task but with his hair getting longer we needed to find a solution.

My solution was to buy my own set of clippers.  We bribed T1 for the first few haircuts.   He was sheared so his hair was very short but we couldn't get to the bits at the nape of his neck or round his ears to tidy them up as this was so uncomfortable for him.  He was still very uncomfortable but was at least in his own home.  We stuck with this for a couple of years and his little brother had the same haircut but actually loved having his hair cut.  A friend (who is an Occupational Therapist) suggested putting something heavy on T1's knees whilst he was having his hair cut.  This would help to centre him when he felt fiddly and offer different sensory input whilst he felt uncomfortable when doing the tickly bits round his ears.  This seemed to help and he was less distressed.  We took T2 to the hairdressers to have his hair cut and took T1 along just to watch.  T1 was now age 6.  By this time we had the ASD diagnosis and explained to the hairdresser how T1 felt uncomfortable.  This lady was brilliant and gave T1 time in the chair and some toys to play with.  Each time he accompanied T2 for a haircut he managed to have another bit done to his hair.  He still wasn't able to get his ears and neck bits tidied up but to sit in the chair was an achievement.  After a year of this and practicing at other hairdressers we felt we needed to try and get the neck and ear bits sorted out.  DP had the novel idea of getting his long hair cut short so that T1 could see him have it done and so that he could get his done next.  I was sceptical to say the least but this worked a treat and for the first time ever, at age 7, T1 sat and had a proper haircut with the tickly razor round his neck and ears and everything!  I'm ashamed to say that the journey to a successful haircut was solely led by DP.  I found it too difficult to see T1 upset in front of the queue of people at the barbers and felt that if I lost it then he would be more distressed.  I was also slightly haunted by that first experience too.  I have to admit that DP still takes T1 & 2 for their haircuts.  I must go and watch one day soon.  It'll be a proud moment.  I still wonder if that first experience meant our journey has been longer or whether it would have been like that anyway.  I learned a valuable lesson though... never to subject my son to something which caused so much distress.  It really wasn't worth it.